I don’t really know where to start this blog, I just feel I have to write.
In the past couple weeks a lot has gone on, from dating to yoga stories being shared with me by my students; from making new friends and practicing doing “the opposite”; to the observations that a death can bring; it sure has been a ride.
So, let’s start with the light heart-ed: Back to the dating board 101. I had two really good dates last week and by really good I mean I really enjoyed our conversations and was pleasantly surprised by how much I allowed myself to let go of expectations that might have interfered in the past. Well, I guess I am not TOO surprised….I did initiate an edict of doing the opposite, so where I might have been inclined to stick with the familiar and comfortable, I am deciding to do the opposite of that, especially with dating. I mean, why not really? And so back to the guys, both are very left brained; one is a financial analyst and the other is a computer software programmer. I loved the conversations we had, both men were very smart and used such big words that from time to time I doubted my own smartness!! Both dates were refreshing and I am set to go out with Mr. Finance for brunch Sunday and Mr. Software will be on vaca, so when he gets back, we will reconnect. A good start back in, if I do say so myself.
Jumping in to the yoga story….I teach a class at a local fitness “club”. Most of the ladies in this class are older and have had more passive teachers than me. It makes me so proud to see their Down Dogs progressing and to see them listening to me!! 🙂 One of my students had a rough day last week in class, and I can relate; sometimes the real shit we are dealing with (ok, always!!) shows up on our mat and we are left to work through it whether we want to or not because- THERE IT IS!! She had a minor break down in attempting to come to the top of her head in the prepping for upward facing bow… this was our “peak” if you will, for this class, that day. Well, she broke down and cried and said “I can’t do this!” I was in the middle of teaching and I knew I needed to acknowledge her, but I also knew (being in that place myself on my mat), that she might just need a little time to process. So, I see her take herself to the wall and retry the pose. She reaches some sort of personal success for herself and is momentarily satisfied. As we drop into Savasana, I see her still shaken up from not being able to do what she had originally wanted to do. This is the time to give her personal attention and so I go to her and give her a little savasana love; some gentle hands on attention to help her release into rest. After class she told me a story about how when she was younger, living in Germany, she had just finished a dive into the pool and was coming up from the depth in the water and another swimmer dove onto her back! She said that no one helped her and she pulled herself to the side of the pool and lied on the ground for 2 hours. She never went to the hospital, she said “I don’t know why I’m still here”. It was so powerful and her honesty about her fear, so palpable. It was truly amazing that she chose to share that story with me that day and it took me back to my training days, when my teacher told me that people will come up to you and thank you for things that you had no idea were going on with them. I am so proud of her for conquering her fears and I am so proud to be one of her teachers.
In the ‘making new friends” department, I was privileged to be invited to be part of a small group of women and connect through some good food and good conversation. Upon first thoughts, I was inclined to revert back to “old” habits and retreat into my home and not put myself out there to a new person or let myself get to know others better and them to know me. I enacted my OPPOSITE regimen and went even farther by making homemade hibiscus tea and a delicious peach blueberry gallette to share! Even though I had to leave the party early, I had so much fun practicing getting out of my habits and letting myself relax a little into a situation that sometimes causes me anxiety and/or fear. I am so grateful I chose to do the opposite:)
Lastly and sadly, I spent a portion of my morning supporting a friend who recently lost her brother to his battle with cancer. It was really important to me to show her how much I care for her and have thought so much of her and her family all throughout the journey of this battle, by being there. It was so hard, and so bittersweet. I have a whole new appreciation for seeing life, seeing the living. I think it occurred to me for the first time today, or maybe i was just open and aware enough to see it for the first time; to see a body without the spirit, without the soul. We stand by this body who no longer has an inhabitant and we mourn for the loss of the soul and spirit and life and love that was once in this body, it seems so surreal being that the body is right there but the soul is not. It is so hard to lose a loved one in any capacity, in any situation; but it is true that it is so much sadder when the circumstances seem so wrong, so unfair and untimely.
I send all love to her and her family and to all beings everywhere that are enduring the pain of a loss.
Life is incredibly short, people. It might be time for us all to take a look at how we can do “the opposite” 🙂
peace and love