Hormones+Caffeine=things I find annoying are amplified

It’s been a day.  The kind of day you want to simultaneoulsy lie in bed and nap as well as run a marathon because you were given caffeine when you don’t drink caffeine.  I realized i forgot to tell them decaf as I saw the espresso streaming out of it’s drip.  Now I am on fire at a mile a minute, so allow me to share these things that have passed through my express lane mind recently; raw and candid.

1. me and caffeine do NOT mix.  it is only helpful to me if I have a migraine or cramps.  As I get older, hormonal migraines have been presented to me as a gift.

2. being on your moon cycle during a moon phase where mercury is going retrograde really stinks

2.5: I vow never to make a major decision while on my cycle.

3. relationships are challenging.  even when there is nothing wrong IN it, there is the inner struggle within ourselves that can cause havoc. Maybe relationships are’t challenging, but sometimes i find them challenging as I grow into them.

4. i am grateful for my job, I love what it affords me but that doesn’t mean that sometimes  I am equally annoyed with it

5. It is not necessary to provide a reason or explanation to anyone that doesn’t need or deserve one, i.e., there is no need to have a reason why I can or cannot do something or why I may have to leave a party early or not attend at all.

6. Ask for what you want.  Unabashedly.

7. Practicing active asana daily is so much easier than practicing YOGA daily.  (which is why I practice asana daily, to help me practice yoga daily)

8. Meditation and yoga are life savers. As well as good friends, a warm home, supportive family and a gracious state of mind.   Not to mention chocolate, sex, hot showers, brisk long walks, massages.  I could likely go on.

9. I don’t give a damn about the world series. Sorry, STL. I just don’t. I can’t wait until it’s over.  I am excited about anything Pumpkin. 🙂

10. Sometimes you have to forgive so that you can move forward.

11. Most of the time, it’s not about you.

12. Sometimes I can be  a total intovert then be annoyed at why I am not feeling included. Ironic, no?!:P

13. Sitting and breathing can calm anyone down.

14. I added window treatments, lamps, rugs and pillows to my office and bedroom this weekend.  I LOVE IT!! It’s so warm and cozy and just makes it all better:)

it’s time for a brisk, long walk outside. It’ll burn this caffeine out of my system.

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Turtle pace

They say “all good things come to those who wait” and “patience is a virtue”; I find it difficult to exercise either of these concepts into my life on a regular basis.  With the exception of my yoga and meditation practice, I pretty much move at mach speed.  I drive fast, I walk fast, I talk fast.  I’m a list maker- if there’s a job to get done, I’m on it.  I want to get it done, check it off my list and move on to the next item.  All of the above traits point to exactly why I need to be reminded to stop and smell the roses.

So, it seems quite fitting that I would meet and fall in like with someone who prefers to move at a turtle pace when it comes to relationships.  As I said, it is my tendency to go from 0 to 75 in less than 10 seconds and so when I thought we were going to have a conversation about moving forward (which we did), it didn’t go exactly as my high speed mind had imagined.  It actually went better, although I didn’t quite understand how it was better until I was able to absorb the words and actions that were exchanged between us.

See, there is a bit of a time factor involved in dating as a woman in her 30’s and even a woman in her 30’s who isn’t completely positive she wants to have kids.  I don’t necessarily want there to be this hovering time thing, but it is there and it seems to be a bit pushy at times in speeding things along on the relationship front.  I mean, on the one hand, we like each other, we enjoy each other’s company, blah blah blah……BUUUTTT on the other hand, as he so delicately and sweetly pointed out: how often do we really meet people with whom we connect (oh how I cannot belive I just used that word, how very Bachelorette of me).  How about this: how often do we meet people that we get along with so well and are so comfortable with (and in our case, who met online)?  Why not take time to GET TO KNOW the person and ENJOY the time together getting to know one another?!  HM! Novel concept, I must say.  Me and my mach 10 mind would have skipped over all that fun getting to know you stuff, the dating, the courting (and how great is it to have someone plan to see you (WANT to see you), pick you up and take you out!?- it is SO GREAT!) and just dove right in to, well, whatever happens when you skip over really finding out about the other person.  That was clearly evident in my last relationship, which moved pretty quick and I learned that he was nothing at all like the person he wanted me to believe that he was.   That relationship was painful; it was painful 3 months in.  So, as hard as it might be for me to slow down and savor this courting, my last experience is a lesson in reminding me how much good can come from slowing down.

So, when all this came together for me, I realized this is a little gift.  A gift in seeing the good right in front of you, a gift to enjoy and savor another person and not be on a schedule (which is EXTREMEMLY challenging for me).  I believe I will continue to ride this roller coaster and at the very minimum I can hope to at least say that I {tried} to enjoy(ed) the process:)